You walk into a room full of people and feel your blood pressure rising, you are wondering and thinking of all the eyes looking at you, what are they thinking, why are they looking at me and what will I say to them. You can feel your throat dry and your chest tightening. This is a typical example of social anxiety.
Some people are not born with that outwardness, this particular type of people find it very hard to be expressive. Their lack of expression might be misinterpreted as being shy but the problem they suffer from is social anxiety.
I use to be this person, believe me, always wondering what are people saying about me when I walk past and what am I going to say to a stranger. One beautiful thing about social anxiety is that it only lives in your head.
Why social anxiety?
Let me tell you some things you need to know before we tackle how we can get rid of this disorder. One of them is that everything we tell ourselves is in our head and all the judgment we pass to ourselves just lives in our head
People are too busy with their problems to take notice of you. 85% of people that are living in society are too immersed in their problem to take note of the insufficiency in the other man. Just like you are in your head that’s how the majority of people are in their head
Self-awareness is a luxury a lot of people can’t afford, Your social anxiety comes from your lack of presentness and centeredness in not only yourself but your environment
Secondly, we are what we say to ourselves. When you wake up in the morning and tell yourself that I am afraid to talk or walk in a crowded room that becomes your existence and what you suffer from.
Believe me, we pick our pain through the words we let come out of our mouths. Humans are just like a black slate, we fill and write on that slate what we are in reality with the words we speak. Nobody was born with social anxiety we grew up with social anxiety and started believing the words we say to ourselves
Since whatever we feel about our social anxiety comes from the things we say in our heads which means our problem isn’t the public but within ourselves.
People are not judging us neither are they thinking of us we are the ones thinking about the problems we have and projecting them to other people
Social anxiety will have you missing a lot of opportunities in life if you leave it unattended and say to yourself that it is not your fault that you can’t express yourself or stand your ground in public.
Solution to social anxiety
Social anxiety can only be cured through action and not through reading, you might think going to a therapist might solve this but that is following a complex step to a simple problem and for those that can’t afford therapy these are three things you need to do to get rid of social anxiety
Wake up in the morning and talk to 3 strangers for the next 31 days. Scientists say it takes 21 days to build a new habit. Talking to strangers for 31 days is trying to reprogram your mind in building new positive habits and destroying the negative things you say about yourself.
The result happens in the field and not in the chair of a therapist. You don’t need to know what to say or how to say it, just ask for random things that don’t look intruding.
Ask for direction, walk into a restaurant and ask for today’s special, have a conversation with the taxi driver about the condition of the city, pretend like you are lost, and have a conversation with a stranger about finding your way back home
Secondly, start talking positively to yourself. When I had social anxiety and felt people wouldn’t like how I talk and what I talk about I started to want change and that change led me to record myself on tape recorders and mobile phones.
Record yourself for 15 minutes every day talking to yourself and having conversations with yourself. People might think that you are mad but in the long run, it is 100 times beneficial to you.
Get comfortable listening to yourself, get comfortable listening to yourself. When you do that you can be okay talking with people and not feel awkward about it.
Most time social anxiety comes from not being confident enough with who we are on the inside. Listening to your voice is another form of reprogramming yourself.
Thirdly, it is not that deep. You are all in your head and since you are in your head try to think of positive things to feel and say. This is what a lot of people don’t know, what you think deep inside of you reflects outside of you as a vibe.
You can call vibe or say another word for it is energy and your energy determines how people treat you. When you tell yourself that you are shy and can’t talk to people that feeling reflects outside and people see you as that person and don’t give you that attention you deserve.
When you feel like you are the man of the moment that vibe and energy are going to reflect outside and people are going to feel it when they talk to you, with that vibe you are going to attract a lot of people into your life.
Social anxiety is a mental disorder and just like every mental disorder it needs to be fixed through the change of perspective, thinking, and action. I hope this short article will do that work for you. Stick around and stay in touch for more great content.