There comes a time in our life where we make that decision of letting go but moving on entails that we leave things and people behind even when these people and things mean a lot to us.
One of the challenges of burning bridges is holding on to things that don’t serve but holding on to these things is like living in a house filled with old and damaged properties, not only do we lack space to maneuver our environment we also breathe tight air making us uncomfortable
Many a time we find ourselves in situations where we can’t seem to let go of memories. Memories are the fuel to our machine, and even though it is time to let go of those memories we hold them dear to us.
Our hope of recreating it makes us tolerate a situation that drains us in the present, the hope for a better future while still drowning in the present, the illusion of a sunny day while still standing in the rain has made us keep a firm grip on what we are supposed to let go of and win in life.
I had a friend back then in school in our freshman year, he started off on the wrong foot and started mingling with the wrong kind, after years of being policed around by the parent he finally got the freedom he has been searching for all his life and started doing things he never thought he could have been doing a year go.
With the new friend in his life came a new drama and a new lifestyle, school was no longer important and attending classes seems to be the most uncool thing he could indulge in, excessive smoking and drinking became the norm and man was too busy engaging the night life to be able to make the morning classes
Two years into this lifestyle he got into an accident that nearly took his life while coming back from a house party hosted by a friend drunk.
He spent months in the hospital, those moment he spent alone where kind of a rehabilitation for him because it dawned on him the people he thought were his brothers were never his brothers, none came visiting, none called to check up on him and none cared if he was alive
That kind of lifestyle can be addicting and tempting to go back to even if we know there’s no more love there and we are just surrounded by fake friends.
For him it was kind of an awakening and a huge work not to go back into the arms of lost friendships, he has to burn those bridges and burn them to the ground without any trace
One way or the other we have found ourselves in similar cases though not as severe as this or probably worse than this, some of us have gone to back to spread our hands back to things that left us damaged because we don’t know how or have that willpower to burn bridges and never look back at the situation. Letting go has always been difficult for us for the main reason that none of us know where to begin
How to improve our letting go decisions
In the process of feeling betrayed we feel some kind of anger in us that boils, this anger can be viewed in two ways 1) We are tolerating an uncomfortable situation 2) we need to find a solution for this and I’m the solution (anger).
Anger can be a very healthy emotion if we can make use of it positively, in the process of burning bridges we need the help of our anger to destroy what doesn’t serve us anymore
Anger has helped us identify what we need to let go of and have given us the will to burn the bridge that connects us to toxicity.
What we need to do now is to lose every connection, links, or affiliation that could bring us back to what we are trying to get rid of, we really want to avoid the same hangout we normally find these people and avoid the friends that bring us to these people, any shared activities that we enjoy together should be cut off completely
In this age of social media where everybody is connected to everybody, the process of burning bridges could be difficult but with the help of the block button in all social apps, we could reduce or stop direct interactions with whoever we want to see an end in relationship with.
Though with the long chain of connections around social media we might have mutual friends that share mutual friends with these people, no stress just keep your composure and stick to the course
In sticking to the course we encounter our most difficult problem, going back to the things that hurt us.
It is at this point in time those friend and lovers start coming back hard into our life pretending they are here for our good and want our best interest, most times this is just camouflaged to get us back and continue the circle of life we have been living before
Getting disciplined in letting what doesn’t serve us anymore is very necessary, in the journey of burning bridges and letting go to the bright side of life where we feel we are enough, discipline will make us not go back to what has been hurting us
This is where I end today’s article, I hope you had fun reading it and ready to implement this into your life. Remember this is an open discussion and your comment is expected.
You can check out my books, Why relationships fail (uncovering the truth and finding solution) here and 31 days of self-development (getting out of the victim mindset) here. A little investment into knowledge can be that great change you have waited all your life for.