The mind operates in an amusing way, and when we don’t take notice, we allow this mind’s actions to detect our life choices and the pace of our life. We as humans are known to form habit within ourselves but habit can’t be formed without the mind seeing our consistent effort as the new normal
Habit just as we know can be good or bad, negative or positive and the things we do consistently end up turning into a habit.
This is what we want to believe but habit-building goes further than that, sometimes outside influences shape our lives and result in us picking up a habit we never wanted to pick for ourselves
One of those influences is how other people treat us and how we take treatment and start thinking it is the new normal.
Remember how I said that when things begin to happen or are done consistently the mind begins to see them as the new normal which later turns into a habit, these outside influences continuously done to us leave the mind thinking it is the new normal.
This is the point habit tends to ruin a lot of human relationships both romantic and platonic. We go into a relationship ruining it before it starts kicking off already
Mindset matters in everything we do and if we have allowed a certain mindset to build up an impression within us that mindset whether good or bad begin to shape how we see life.
People go through breakups for so many reasons but those reasons don’t end up in that relationship that created that reason in the first place.
People take those reasons that end the previous relationship into the next relationship, expecting the new spouse to behave like the old spouse thereby ruining what has not started already
Relationship problem goes beyond what the human consciousness can conceive, sometimes things don’t end because there is a problem and trust issues, many times relationship problem end because people carry their trust issues and whatever issues they had in their previous into their new relationship.
The more I get older in life the more I start realizing that one should not carry the stupidity of others into another. One shouldn’t expect the same treatment from two different people.
Every guy that has been hurt goes out into the world scared of loving again and thinking every girl walking in the street is bound to hurt him, likewise, every girl that has gone through some hurtful breakup in her life goes out into the world thinking all men are the same.
We might not see all this as a habit we have built within ourselves but they are, we might not even interpret or name it a habit but they are.
This mental model and way of seeing life has been done so consistently that the mind begins to read them as the normal just like the mind reads every other activity that turned into a habit in our life.
How to save your relationships from habit
The very best way to erase this habit and get back to a new perspective and way of seeing life is to clear out our mental model or rather have a clean mental slate to see things with the mind of a child. Seeing things with a mind of a child is curiosity.
When we were younger we were curious and inquisitive, we wanted to know what makes a thing and how that thing is shaped but as we get older we begin to depend too much on patterns and start searching for patterns in everything we do.
This search for patterns has made us misinterpret a lot of things and give false meaning to things and people around us. Because things happened this way we think it will always happen that way with just everyone.
Those habits we have picked up and taken into the next relationship have caused more harm to our human relationship than it has repaired it.
This is where I end today’s article, I hope you had fun reading it and ready to implement this into your life. Remember this is an open discussion and your comment is expected.
You can check out my books, Why relationships fail (uncovering the truth and finding solution) here and 31 days of self-development (getting out of the victim mindset) here. A little investment into knowledge can be that great change you have waited all your life for.